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What do you think the most attractive quality in a man is?
- Money
- Good job
- Height over 5'10"
- Good head of hair
- Sense of humor
- High IQ
- None of the above.
What is happiness? What does it mean to be happy? According to an online dictionary, "happy" means:
Happiness is defined as,
1. delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: to be happy to see a person.
2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy: a happy mood; a happy frame of mind.
A guy can be tall, with a good head of hair, a professional with a good IQ, having all the material accouterments but still be unattractive. If he sneers, feels contempt for others, hates his work, loathes his clients, dislikes women, uses women, sees the world as half-empty, lacks courtesy, is a pessimist, feels downtrodden, feels entitled, complains about his upbringing, his station in life or his family, is lazy, is selfish, is stingy, has a filthy mouth, a filthy car, a filthy home or a filthy computer, he can be one of the most unattractive men you have ever met.1. the quality or state of being happy.
2. good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy."
In your matchmaker's view, these are all indicators of an unhappy person. Living with an unhappy person can make life a living hell. Most people, including single ladies out there, know this. Happiness is hard to fake. Life is not perfect for anyone. We all have to learn how to deal with setbacks, deaths, rejection, isolation and loneliness. Some turn to religion to resolve this with success. Others to psychotherapy. And yet others through drugs, alcohol, mindless s_x, p_rn, and other bad behavior.
Are you finding rejection in the dating market because you are unhappy? You haven't found the road to contentment and joy? Your matchmaker provides date coaching and acts, in some ways, as a sister through the dating process. But this is no substitute for the hard inner work of finding happiness. It's also been referred to as "The Road Less Traveled".
Before you jump into the dating market, you are encourage to find that happiness through your religion or other avenues. Note: your matchmaker does not say "seek happiness", for that is elusive. But having attained joy and contentment, it can be safely said that the quality and number of women who find you attractive is greatly increased.
Have a different opinion? Please comment below.
this is awesome alicia, i think it takes having accomplishments and gaining confidence and happiness from that is something that could make a guy more attractive too. whats your opinion on dating younger asian men?
ReplyDeleteWow, this was a very good read!
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I had my chips set on money or humor. However, you made some compelling arguments and I think you're right. I've met some amazing women who were beautiful, talented, and interesting -but highly pessimistic. They were always grouchy and they had such a closed off personality. This is actually why I stopped talking to them, despite their gorgeous appearance.
Great great post. You've given me a LOT of food for thought :D
Villysun87,
ReplyDeleteI could not agree with you more about accomplishments creating confidence, which in turn can create happiness. For me, it's faith, family & friendship. I'm a female. I'm sure those things are of value to happy men, but a man needs to also make his way in the world. It is a tough world out there, but a man will bear down and make the most of it. A man who overcomes trauma and difficulties and who also has a smile on his face and a great attitude has no lack of friends, and interest from a few females.
Regarding younger men, younger Asian men, I have no problem with women dating younger (within legal limits). It needs to be within reason though. If a man wants children, he needs to date a woman who is of child-bearing years. Dating someone who does not meet one's non-negotiables for any length of time is a time waster though. Better to take a deep breath and go approach that girl who seems to be a qualifier.
I hope I answered your question. Thanks for posting! It is good to hear from you.
Ranier,
ReplyDeleteWelcome! I've enjoyed reading your own blog posts over the last few months. I hope you noticed that your blog is on the EWA blogs of interest.
Well, yes, money and humor can be dashing can't they? But they can wear off too. You're smart to avoid these chicas. Some guys might think of them as being "hard to get" and try yet harder to make them happy. Grouchiness is such a downer. You just can't fix it in others. From my view, that kind of attitude indicates a certain level of self-absorption that is incompatible with a harmonious relationship.
It's great hearing from you. Thanks for contributing your thoughts. Looking forward to your next post. Happy October!
Whos the guy in the picture??? Sorry and I completely agree with your opinion!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sunny. I wish I knew. Nice looking, huh?
ReplyDelete