5 Worst Things to Give for Valentine's Day

The only exception to anything on this list is if your wife or girlfriend has very specifically told you that this is what she wants for Valentine's Day.  Even then, it is sketchy, because sometimes your wife or girlfriend just wants to make it easy for you so that she will not be disappointed with a really lame gift or so that she will not be forgotten.  So, she suggests something easy for you to give her.  This is kind of a trick that could get you less than favorable results.

5.   Sexy Lingerie That Interests You

Face it, guys. Lingerie is a present for you, not for her. It says, this is what I want, to turn me on. It can also be misinterpreted to mean, "Honey, you're just not enough. I need you to wear this costume so I'll want you more".

There is a time and a place for the giving and sharing of lingerie, but I happen to believe V-Day is not the day. I know I'll receive some flack for this, since, for most men, romance = sex.  Women view romance a little differently.

Rather than lingerie, for a wife or long-time girlfriend, you want the gift to say, "I adore you, wonderful you.  You mean so much to me."  For someone you recently started dating, you want the gift to say, "I think you're swell".

4.   Costume Jewelry

If you can't afford fine jewelry, meaning made of a precious metal like silver, gold or platinum, with or without gemstones, skip jewelry. The exception to this is if you made this yourself from some objects that you consider to be beautiful.  If you have read "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand, you'll understand what I mean when I refer to the chapter called, "The Bracelet".

In this scene Lillian Reardon, wife of dashing industrialist Hank Reardon, throws a huge society party as a wedding anniversary gift for her husband.  Hank Reardon has recently invented a new metal, lighter and stronger than steel, that will revolutionalize the world.  In front of the whole crowd, he presents his wife with a bracelet that he had forged especially for her out of Reardon metal.  She makes fun of it in front of everyone, and puts down her husband for being so obsessed with his own creation.

Main character Dagny Taggart is a guest at the party and watches this.  She is wearing a bracelet full of diamonds.  She, too, is an industrialist in partnership with Hank Reardon; they plan to build a new railroad through Colorado.  Dagny finds the work of Hank Reardon's mind and hands so compellingly winsome that she offers to trade her diamond bracelet for Mrs. Reardon's alloy metal bracelet.  That was the beginning of a love affair between Hank Reardon and Dagny Taggart.  Mrs. Reardon accepted the trade, but no one present could have missed the symbolism.

3.  Loungewear Pajamas

You've seen the ads for Pajamagram or the Snuggie.  These are kind of the opposite of sexy lingerie.  Unless you are the creator of these cash-generating products, there is nothing personal about them.  They are generic gifts, kind of like one-size-fits-all.

You may be thinking that she will think warmly of you for giving her a clothing item that keeps her warm.  That's a linear thought, a masculine way of thinking, which is something to be appreciated.  However, it misses the mark.  How romantic is a blanket or a pair of sweatpants?

Think of it this way.  Would you like to be given a tire jack for your birthday?  A wrench?  Pretty boring.  Loungewear pajamas are kind of like being given a tie on Father's Day.

2.  Nothing

Wait! Nothing is not number one?!   (No. There is actually something worse than nothing.)

Does "nothing" need more explanation?

The only time "nothing" would be appropriate is if you have broken up with the person or do not intend to date the person any longer.  To give something would be to lead the woman on, a no-no.

1.   The Giant Teddy Bear

This is a tough one for guys because it has a lot of appeal as a gift. You see the advertising on TV and hear it on the radio, and you think that all that advertising means it's the popular thing to give. Plus, you can order it online or through a toll-free telephone number, and there are not a lot of options to the gift. 

You can become so tempted to listen to the advertiser say how much your woman will love this gift. Please cover your ears and repeat after me, "I will not buy my girlfriend a teddy bear. My girlfriend is not a child. I will not buy her a stuffed animal".
What this gift says more than anything is "clueless", and "can't be bothered with actually thinking of something I might like". This fabricsewn into the shape of an animal, with plastic eyes and mouth, becomes nothing more than a dust collector. It will certainly end up in the trash or at the Salvation Army store very soon.

Here are a few suggestions:

• An experience, an outing, something out of the ordinary, that shows you took the time to plan it.  This can include a weekend trip, dinner at a new place, or an afternoon at the amusement park.  By the way, it's okay to win her a stuffed animal at the carnival games.  That's romantic.
• A handwritten card.
• A CD mix of songs that make you think of her and/or with her favorite songs on it.
• Clothes for her pet.  Balloons for her children.
• Build a fire.  Fires are hypnotic and tend to draw out good conversation.

Feel free to offer any suggestions of your own in the comments section below.  Let us know if you have ever given anything that particular bombed or made her very happy.  Valentine's Day is 8 days away, but you may be celebrating this weekend. 

Wishing you every success,
Hugs and kisses, MsEastWest