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Okay, so the title of the post doesn't exactly ring true for many singles. Here we are alone at Thanksgiving/Chanakuh/Christmas/Kwanzaa/New Years without a significant other in our life. "So what's so 'great' about it?", you ask. Here are just a few sunny thoughts about the holidays.
1. Being Alone Helps You Realize You Are Actually Alone
For much of the rest of the year, you can kind of fake it. You can show up to things alone or you can take an opposite sex friend, or a date if you happen to be seeing someone. You can blow off attending important family and social functions with the excuse of working too hard in the pursuit of the dollar. You can pursue temporary relationships with people who you know are not right for you. All of these stopgap measures or coping mechanisms can make you not feel the fact that you have not found the love of your life. They get you through the weekend.
But work slows down and other types of regular activities slow down around the holidays and actually leave us with some extra time on our hands to comtemplate the solo existence. Other families and couples are getting together, frolicking in the snow, wearing cute Christmas clothes, acting all blissful. It's disgusting! Because other people gather more and are more sentimental about it, it makes our aloneness seem that much more, well, alone! Our feelings go under the magnifying glass; they are more acute than ever.
The good news is that realizing that there is a problem is the first step in getting to the solution. So don't do mind-numbing things to make those feelings go away! Start to work on the solution.
2. Extra Time Means You Can Start Self-Exploration About Who You Want in a Life Partner and How You Are Going to Make That Happen
What better time to stop messing around and get your priorities straight. Some don't really believe in New Years' Resolutions, but, heck, it's a great time to do some soul searching and figure out your non-negotiables. Please, if one of your non-negotiables is that your spouse has to be blonde with blue eyes, dig deeper. Eyesight grows dim with age and hair turns gray. Blonde can be purchased in bottle.
There are at least three ways to make 2011 the year you are with someone wonderful. The first of these is through self-guided goal setting and task planning to make it happen. There are many good books out there on this subject. (Write us for an essay on 5 ways to jumpstart your search for Mr./Mrs. Right).
The second way is with a coach. We hire specialists in all areas of our life. What could be more important than finding our life's companion and being a wonderful companion to him or her? East West Attraction offers coaching in person and via Skype, but not via telephone, and you can pay with PayPal. We simply must communicate face to face. EWA has a program to assist you in developing your list of your future spouse's traits and how to go about meeting and winning that person.
The third way is to outsource your search. Yes! That is what a matchmaker is for. Though you must come up with the attributes of your future spouse, we do the leg work.
3. Lots More Opportunities for Socializing
The other great thing about the holidays is that probably every group, church, office or organization you have been involved with in the last 5 years is having some sort of social event. Go online, research community calendars, read all of the junk mail and email you get from various organizations find out what is going on. So grab your calendar or create a special gmail/google calendar and start popping all of those engagements on there.
Get a couple of fantastic socializing clothing outfits, including shoes and jacket, a good haircut and get out there and meet, greet, and collect phone numbers like crazy. Go either ALONE or with one other person who you will split up with the moment you get there and to whom you will not go during the party if you feel droopy.
When you get the phone numbers of new people, (this is important) DO NOT TEXT or IM THE PEOPLE. Keep the good, personal vibe going by actually calling them and having a real-time communication. Remember how people used to actually talk to each other? You know, talking... like they used to do in the olden days?
If you have 3 events on your calendar in one night, which is not unthinkable since there are only a few weekends in December, go to *all* of them. Make it a point to meet say 10 people at each event. Not only are you looking for available people to date, but you also looking for social people who could possibly introduce you to your future mate. The more social the person is, the better! Get on the party lists.
Crashing parties at hotel convention/meeting rooms can be possible too! (Oops, we did not say that!)
4. Other Singles Are Feeling the Solo Vibe Also
If you feel lonely, realize other singles feel their solo existence more acutely also! Maybe they are more inclined to give someone a chance than they would have had during other times of the year.
Pretend to be a friendly outgoing person when you go out. Fake it 'til you make it!
And, we know from the research of David McCandless that there are a lot of breakups between Thanksgiving and New Years. Someone may be a newly minted single. Maybe they are not ready for a full-blown relationship but they might be ready for a new FOI (friend of interest).
Love and Thanks from MsEast West at East West Attraction!
