How Dating is Like Indian Wrestling, or Increased Attraction for the Happy Asian Man

"Indian Wrestling"

There's a game my father and my older male cousin used to play when my cousin was a young man in his twenties.  Maybe you've played it.  Each man would stand with the outside of his right foot touching the outside of the right foot of the other.  They stood with their legs apart, side by side, but facing opposite directions.  They grasped each others' right hand.  When the timer started, each would try to get the other off balance.  The first one to break his stance and falter was the loser.  The one who was able to stand his ground without moving his feet was the winner.

This message is for the young or inexperienced man or the young and inexperienced man who is setting out to date and woo a woman.  This is not for the jaded types who have had many women and are looking to score with the next woman.  For the young/inexperienced, feelings are extremely strong.  You can feel like you are in love before you even talk to the girl.  (I've heard it can be like that for some of the old dudes too!)  You might feel like a puddle of feelings.

But with your contact with the woman you need to make your message about strength, confidence and happiness.  Not about dependence on her reaction.  You can have a glimmer in your eye that shows you are attracted to her, an upturned smirk, a knowing glance, a light touch to the elbow, a lengthened eye contact, just slightly.  But not a sad face if she does not react positively immediately.  Not a dropped headed.  No slumping shoulders!

A woman does not want to feel that her reaction to you makes or breaks your life or your mood.

We as women don't want to feel you will come unglued if we reject you, if we flirt in a negative teasing kind of way.
 

Can you handle me?

Can you handle me being desired by other men?

Can you handle it when I'm an airhead?

Can you handle it when I feel bloated?

Can you handle it when I feel weak?

Can you handle it when I feel hot and the center of attention, as I can do no wrong?

A woman wants to know these things about a man before she can trust him.

What we need more than anything is to respect you, with earned respect.  Not because you demanded it in anger or went into a rage.  Not because you're a wuss that whined about it and got your precious feelings hurt.

The feminine woman wants to be the female in the relationship, the one with all the exposed feelings that fluctuate frequently.  Don't let her break you down into the being the woman.  Don't let her get you off balance, meaning don't lean her way but don't overreact the opposite way, in defeat, anger or depression.

Happiness = independence.

Happiness makes you look independent and confident -- strong, ready and open.  This is very appealing!

What can you do to be more balanced in your interactions with women?